Good intentions...

Yesterday I went to the gym for the first time in a VERY long time.  I haven't been since last year in fact.  Yes, all of those new year promises and resolutions of getting fit finally infected me.  I think the crunch point for me yesterday was when it seemed like a totally acceptable idea to have a shot of vodka as a celebration for my flatmate's last exam...at 11am...having not eating yet due to being in a state of hibernation since I'd finished all essays a week ago.  Yes, I had turned into that kind of person.  Yikes!

So, I threw myself in the deep end as it were...quite literally actually by heading for a swim at my local leisure centre, followed by a session at the fitness room.  My first scary encounter was seeing myself in a bikini in the changing room mirrors.  Have I really let my ass get so big it just about qualifies for its own solar system?!  Yes.  It appears I have.  Sodding chocolate yule logs and pigs in blankets by the bucket load have really taken their toll...unsurprising when combined with being stuck inside writing essays and home cooking.  

Well something's got to give and I am hoping it won't be the buttons on my jeans...which by the way, I had to physically do lunges in just to make them fit by stretching them out.  

'They must have shrunk in the wash?!' I declare as my housemates look at me and roll their eyes and give a shrug sympathetically.     

So there I was pounding away on the treadmill for about 10 minutes whilst being able to feel a definite jiggle in my behind...mirrors around the gym confirmed this...a definite large jiggle had occurred.  And I start to feel sick to my stomach, perhaps it was the shot for brekkie, or perhaps it was the fact that upon measuring my heart rate it was sky-rocketing like never before.  And it dawned on me...I might actually have a heart attack on this thing!!  Better get off just for health reasons you understand.  So I opted for the bikes instead...BIG MISTAKE.  Someone had lowered and tilted the chair to such an angle that it was impossible to sit on it without just about having an internal examination!!!  So there I was trying to re-adjust said instrument of torture when one of those big armed 'professionals' came over and offered assistance... 'No no,' I shook him off 'I have done this before, I am used to the machinery in gyms'.  By this point I really am looking a sight, possible pulsing vein protruding from forehead and hair plastered to my face in a sweaty mess.  Not my best look.  So he just held in a smile and sauntered off to help another poor soul in distress with good intentions for the new year.  Bastard.

After my stressful experience I decided I would benefit from the steam room and jacuzzi the leisure centre had to offer...every cloud eh?!  Well it's true about steam rooms, you can not see a fricking thing in there and I just about sat on an Iranian man's knee...I didn't,  but it was close enough that I could feel the hairs on his inner things brushing across my skin.  GROSS!!  Safe to say I left that room immediately...relaxing?! Hell no.  

Next year, I'm picking an easier resolution!  Upon asking a very close friend what her resolution was, she said it was to make someone smile everyday for the year...well I hope I've made you smile today at reading this.  Go on brave people and nail those resolutions...and if you don't quite manage them all of the time, just remember you could be me wandering around the gym corridors in a bikini and trainers combo, towel clutched to my chest looking hopelessly for the changing rooms and the exit!!       

Hopefully I'll be feeling like this by 2014.